I am in the stage of beginning to evaluate my time here in the USA, and anticipating my move back to the UK in July.
I thought that moving to the States was going to be the hardest thing that I was going to do in my life. But now I know that moving back being even harder.
I have had this quote from Heraclitus in my head for the last weeks. And I think it sums up my trepidation. He said that “You can never step into the same river; for new waters are always flowing on to you.” He is talking about how the despite being familiar, something will never be the same as it was before. That the UK will not be the same as it was the last time I was there, 680 Days ago.
I'm nervous about so many things. I feel like I will approaching the UK as a stranger. But this isn't just because the UK has changed. I would argue that not only can I not step into the same river twice because the water have changed, but also because I have changed as well.
I'm not the same person that I was when I went on this adventure in September 2010. I have changed so much. I sometimes joke that I'm worried that my dog won't recognise me. She recognises my voice on Skype so I'm not truly worried, but it does highlight an underlying question. Will the UK recognise me?
I have had great experiences, worked in a great environment. Met great people who will be friends forever. Been inspired by people who are just doing day to day things. I have surrounded by people who have moulded who I am, and I'm not saying that I won't have this in the UK but its hard to leave a comfort zone in which you have been growing so much in. I am already dreading leaving, but I know that it is something that I have to do.
As I prepare to step back into this river, please just keep me in your prayers. I'm going to need them.