On the positive side, I have been given an incredible opportunity to learn. I have taken on the role of managing one of the Intern houses. and I am also taking on more of a role at the After School Program which I am really excited about.
The negative aspect of his has come out of loss. Firstly, losing a group of people who I looked to as family and secondly being awoken to the harsh reality of living in an area such as Camden. My first year internship was rudely interrupted by US Visa people. This resulted in me spending 3 months in the UK, and this resulted in me not always feeling as if i was part of the House community. But this all changed in the summer when I went to Trenton, and spent alot of my time with my team of 5 others. This led to our team being incredibly close. When it came for them to one by one leave, it felt as if I was slowly losing limbs. It was really painful and the next weeks was really hard.
And now I am faced with the knowledge that to get close to a group of people will inevitably come with the end result (for most part anyway) of pain over the breaking of ties. This is a choice which is impossible to make without any clear answer - do I close myself and become a Hermit (maybe abit extreme) or make friends with people whom you know that in 9 months will part paths? It is a choice that makes my head hurt. I am currently listening to the Soundtrack of the Movie Where the Wild Things Are and I was reminded of a quote from Judith (one of the Wild Things) saying "Happiness is not always the best way to be happy". This made sense to me in some weird way. If the things that hurt, usually hurt because in one way they made us so happy. I think that the things that make us happy are worth it even if they are going to eventually have the potential to make us unhappy, and by running away in order to avoid pain, we also run the risk of avoiding the things that make us happy permanently.
And now I am faced with the knowledge that to get close to a group of people will inevitably come with the end result (for most part anyway) of pain over the breaking of ties. This is a choice which is impossible to make without any clear answer - do I close myself and become a Hermit (maybe abit extreme) or make friends with people whom you know that in 9 months will part paths? It is a choice that makes my head hurt. I am currently listening to the Soundtrack of the Movie Where the Wild Things Are and I was reminded of a quote from Judith (one of the Wild Things) saying "Happiness is not always the best way to be happy". This made sense to me in some weird way. If the things that hurt, usually hurt because in one way they made us so happy. I think that the things that make us happy are worth it even if they are going to eventually have the potential to make us unhappy, and by running away in order to avoid pain, we also run the risk of avoiding the things that make us happy permanently.
But also weighing on my already overloaded brain is the fact that life is fleeting. A friend who I met in the summer in Trenton, died nearly two weeks ago, at the age of 24. And it struck me that life is fragile, and we never know what is going to happen. One of my favourite films is a film called The Crow. During the filming of the movie, the main actor, Brandon Lee was unfortunatly killed, but what was striking was that the day before he was giving an interview where he talked about how we seem to have a mentality of immortality, that we think that we are going to live for ever, saying
" ...you tend to take a great deal for granted, because you feel like you're going to live forever. It's only if you lose a friend, or maybe have a near-death experience, (that) many events and people in your life suddenly attain real significance"It has been an eye opening last couple of weeks, and I hope now that I don't take things for granted and if your reading I urge you not to either.
